What Is The Enneagram? A Simple Guide For Beginners.

What is the Enneagram?

The Enneagram is a tool used to help you understand WHY you think and behave the way you do. 

It gives you insight into the default or habitual way you show up in and deal with life. 

It can also help you understand your core needs and fears and allow you to see a path forward into personal growth. (Or, as most books say, it's an ancient tool used to identify different personality types.)

The Enneagram has become more trendy in the past several years, but make no mistake; its depth goes far beyond a personality test 'trend.'

I'm going to break this post down into several parts:

1. Where did the Enneagram come from?

2. What are the numbers, and what do they mean?

3. How do you know what number you are?

4. One common mistake I see people make with the Enneagram.

5. What are Enneagram Wings and Triads?

6. Conclusion.

Where did the Enneagram Come From?

The Enneagram has been around for a very long time. It was used by Christian desert fathers and mothers in the 4th century for spiritual direction and counseling. It has also appeared in other religions like Sufism and Judaism.

In the beginning, the Enneagram was something reserved for spiritual leaders and mentors who used it as a tool to help people grow. 

It recently resurfaced in the 1970s and was brought to the United States from Chile. Now, you can access information about the Enneagram just about anywhere. Check out my suggested resources, and links to where you can take a test.

What are the Enneagram numbers and what do they mean?

Within the Enneagram, nine numbers represent different types of personalities. Each of the nine types has subtypes, wings, and changes based on personal levels of health or maturity. 

The Enneagram has descriptions for each number based on if you are healthy, average, or unhealthy. 

Keep in mind, this is just a simple overview of a complex topic, and there is a wealth of information if you want to dive deeper! 

This image from Beth McCord is a great way to see what is associated with each number:

Here are several other words used by Enneagram gurus to describe each number:

Enneagram 1: The Perfectionist, The Reformer

Enneagram 2: The Helper, The Givers

Enneagram 3: The Performer, The Achiever

Enneagram 4: The Romantic, The Individualist

Enneagram 5: The Observer, The Investigator

Enneagram 6: The Loyalist, The Questioners

Enneagram 7: The Enthusiast, The Epicures

Enneagram 8: The Challenger, The Bosses

Enneagram 9: The Peacemaker, The Mediator

(Side note: it’s really fun when you’ve studied the Enneagram for a while and you can begin to use it to help have better relationships with your spouse and kids. Having language as to how they see the world differently is SO helpful!)

How do you know what Enneagram number you are?

There are 3 main ways to figure out your Enneagram number.

You can take a test, work with an Enneagram Coach, or read an Enneagram book.

Each option has pros and cons, depending on how deep you want to go.

1. Take An Enneagram Test Online. This is a great way to get a quick idea of where you should start when learning more about each number. 

   It is important to keep in mind that the tests may not always be accurate. It is hard for a test to get to the root of WHY you are doing something, so keep in mind this is a great place to start, but not the only way to learn. Decide which test to take here.

2. Find an Enneagram Coach. You can find a coach online or in person when you are ready to do some deeper inner work. They will help you fully understand how the Enneagram works and what it means for you. 

   I find that when going on any personal growth journey, it is important to understand yourself at a deeper level. That is why I have a module on the Enneagram in The Healthy Mom Method Program.

3. Read Enneagram Books. And finally, there are many great books about the Enneagram. If you are new to the Enneagram, I suggest you start with The Road Back To You by Ian Cron. And if you are more familiar with the Enneagram, my favorite book to take it to the next level is The Complete Enneagram by Beatrice Chestnut.

What if you are struggling to figure out your Enneagram number?

If you are struggling to figure out your Enneagram number, you are not alone, and nothing is wrong with you!

The Enneagram is just one of many tools that we can use to identify common ways we show up in the world, and it offers paths to growth based on the nine types it describes. What it's not meant to do is stress you out because you can't figure out your number.

Within the nine types, there are levels of health or maturity. The Enneagram labels these levels as healthy, average, and unhealthy. So you can imagine a healthy Enneagram 1 and an unhealthy or average Enneagram 1 would look very different.

The most important thing to keep in mind is that you are not a number! Just like if you are struggling with the number you see on the scale, you should never feel defined by any number if it just doesn’t fit you. 

Take some time to read the full descriptions of each number and think about which one feels like it resonates with you most. Often, looking at the core fear for each number can give you a quick clue to how much you connect with that number.

Taking time to look at each Enneagram type's core fear and desire may also give you clarity as to which numbers you should look at first.

The Enneagram Institute describes each Enneagram numbers core fear and desire as this:

The Core Fears for each Enneagram type are:

Enneagram 1: Basic Fear: Of being corrupt/evil, defective & Basic Desire: To be good, to have integrity, to be balanced

Enneagram 2: Basic Fear: Of being unwanted, unworthy of being loved & Basic Desire: To feel loved

Enneagram 3: Basic Fear: Of being worthless & Basic Desire: To feel valuable and worthwhile

Enneagram 4: Basic Fear: That they have no identity or personal significance & Basic Desire: To find themselves and their significance (to create an identity)

Enneagram 5: Basic Fear: Being useless, helpless, or incapable & Basic Desire: To be capable and competent

Enneagram 6: Basic Fear: Of being without support and guidance & Basic Desire: To have security and support

Enneagram 7: Basic Fear: Of being deprived and in pain & Basic Desire: To be satisfied and content—to have their needs fulfilled

Enneagram 8: Basic Fear: Of being harmed or controlled by others & Basic Desire: To protect themselves (to be in control of their own life
and destiny)

Enneagram 9: Basic Fear: Of loss and separation & Basic Desire: To have inner stability "peace of mind"

As you read through the core fears and desires, see what resonates with you and do some more exploring into those numbers.

The best part about exploring each number is that you begin to learn so much about each, you will start to understand those who are closest to you so much better. Knowing what drives their core fears and desires will greatly improve your ability to communicate with and understand them. 

It is important to keep in mind, each type also has wings and subtypes that play into how you show up in the world. I will touch on this further down.

As you learn more about what number fits you best, remember that you always have all nine numbers available to you. 

Part of the long-term growth using the Enneagram is to learn how to pull from the less developed types when you need to. I have worked with my mentor to develop my bottom 3 numbers, which might have been the most uncomfortable and groundbreaking growth I have experienced. 

It will be important to address the fears and judgments you have made about those Enneagram types you aren’t as familiar with so you can become more whole. 

Jesus was not one Enneagram type. I believe he encompassed all 9 types and was also unique.

One common mistake I see people make with the Enneagram

One common mistake I see people making with the Enneagram is using it as a tool to label people at face value. 

The Enneagram holds a lifetime of exploration within its teachings. It's fun to do a quick test and overview, but the real power of the Enneagram is found when you take the time to study it.

Here's a quick example of how someone can misuse the Enneagram:

Imagine you look at the definitions above and learn that Enneagram 1's are often perfectionists, and then you assume someone in your life is an Enneagram 1 because they are a perfectionist. 

This could be so far from the truth because it is all about what drives them to be a perfectionist. 

Here are a few different Enneagram numbers that could look like a 1 at face value:

• Enneagram 6 might look like one to avoid not fitting into the tribe

• Enneagram 3 could have perfectionist tendencies to prevent being unsuccessful

• Enneagram 2 in an unhealthy state could become perfectionistic, assuming they are the only ones that know the perfect way to help someone or serve.

As you can see above, there are many reasons why someone may be a perfectionist.

When used properly, the Enneagram will help you dig deeper into WHY we act in specific ways.

What are Enneagram Wings?

Have you heard someone say I am an Enneagram 2w3 (2 wing 3)? Or any mix of numbers? 4w3, 9w1, etc.

Wings are the numbers on either side of the number you most resonate with. 

For example, you could be an Enneagram 6 who identifies more with the Enneagram 7 than the Enneagram 5. So you would be an Enneagram 6w7. These can change throughout your life and even in different seasons.

Wings also help explain why people with the same number can look so different. There are names for each wing type. 

Using the Enneagram 6 example above, they call a 6w7 'The Buddy' while the 6w5 is called 'The Defender'. Both are strong in 6, but show up very differently in life.

There is so much to learn, and this overview only touches the surface. If you are interested, check out more resources, or reach out to me! I am not a guru, but I use the Enneagram with all of my clients, and I think it is one of the best tools to use when you are on a self-improvement journey. 

I would love to hear from you! If you are new to the Enneagram, which number are you most curious to know more about? Which one do you identify with the most so far? 

If you aren’t new to it, what is one thing you have learned from it that you would share with those who are just learning about it? Let me know in the comments below!

Have a great day my friends!

SarahFailla

PS.

If you are curious, I am an Enneagram 6 through and through! Lately, I am working on embracing my bottom numbers with the help of my mentor. I have been asking questions like,

“What do I fear about those bottom numbers?”
“What do I judge in them?”
”What have I cut off in myself as I avoid those numbers?”

It’s been really powerful, to say the least. 

Also, (just for fun!) my hubby is a 7 and also has a strong 2 in him. I think my boys are 1, 6, and 8. We aren’t supposed to type kids because there is so much that might change as they grow, but I like just keeping it in mind, and it can give incredible insight into parenting them. 

For example, I know that feeling vulnerable is the worst feeling in the world for my son who is an Enneagram 8. This gives me the grace to understand why certain things trigger him, and also gives me insight into where and how I can help him mature.

I’d love to work with you if you are in a season of growth—. Contact me today!