4 Strategies to Overcome Self-Doubt
Hey, my friend!
Do you ever find yourself stuck in a cycle where you just cannot overcome self-doubt?
I do. ALL the time. And it shocks most of my friends, even the ones who know me crazy well.
You see, we never really know what people deal with on an internal or mental level, but I am here to tell you that every single one of us faces self-doubt at different points throughout our lives.
If you are growing and doing anything new in your life you will face a form of self-doubt. It’s just part of the process. It isn’t good or bad. It just is. And the quicker we can learn to see when this is happening, the quicker we can work through it, and learn from it.
This one is for my mommas who need to be reminded what you want to accomplish is possible.
Your dreams are worth pushing through, you can overcome your self-doubt and are capable of achieving what you want.
And I recently needed to remind myself, too.
First of all, let’s make clear there is a BIG difference between feeling confident and competent. One does not ensure the other. For me, I am generally confident. But that does not mean I always feel competent.
Take my past week, for example.
Below is an excerpt from a Facebook status update. Let’s take a look at my mini-breakdown, and then use my negative spiral example as a way to learn how to coach yourself through these hard, uncomfortable moments, and overcome self-doubt, maybe not forever, but at least at this moment.
“Listen up mommas: Don’t make a decision when you are in a sh’t storm of unhealthy thinking!
Oh, my friends. This week has been a doozy. Why? Nothing in ‘real’ life has gone crazy. But these thoughts in my head have been all over the place.
You’re not built to be an entrepreneur. You’re actually not even a good coach. Why don’t you just go get a ‘real’ job? Ugh, it’s not always pretty up in here in this brain of mine.”
During this self-doubt spiral, I actually applied to a ‘real’ job, thinking that was the answer to all my doubts.
But, let me just make clear here, there was absolutely no real-life evidence of the negative thoughts I had. I’ve helped more clients this year than ever before, and overall, I am feeling really good about the work I am doing.
But as our brains tend to do when challenged, I was feeling pushed out of a comfort zone, and my thoughts were finding any way to keep me in what seemed a safer option by taking a different job.
So, there you have it. None of us are perfect, not even coaches. But what is so great about that is, as a coach, I am speaking from a place that I have been before, too. The only difference is that I now have the tools to share with you.
I see you, momma. So, let’s get into it.
How I helped myself overcome self-doubt, and how you can too:
1. Exercise
The first thing I did when I felt myself going down was exercise. I made myself do a workout that had me drenched in sweat. Immediately after I finished, it was like my brain was switched back into reality and out of the spiral.
I actually began to think a little clearer, just from sweating. This has a lot to do with endorphins and lower cortisol levels, but I’ll get into that in a different post.
2. Write Out Your Thoughts
After I got my blood flowing back to my brain and channeled my adrenaline in a healthy way, I took a moment and wrote out every single thought that was going through my mind. I mean, all of them.
The status excerpt above is just a little taste of the 50 plus thoughts that were spinning in my head for two or three days.
Then, I reread everything I wrote and looked at each thought one by one.
This may feel a little overwhelming at first, so it’s ok to take your time with the process. If you were just pumped up and stressed out because of your self-doubt, it is ok if working through it takes a couple of days, too.
The important part here is that you have stopped spiraling, and you know you need to evaluate what is really going.
3. Reflect & Ask Questions
This is the most important part of the process to help overcome self-doubt.
There are 4 questions I want you to ask every single thought you wrote down:
What was the evidence I’m using to prove that thought?
Is it actually true?
What else could also be true?
Do I want to believe this thought or is there another one that is more in line with my truth?
Be honest with yourself here. This step is not always easy and it doesn’t always change things immediately. But, this will give you a deeper understanding of what is going on and will help you overcome self-doubt.
And, looking at your thoughts this way will show you a way forward, out of the downward spiral.
4. Set Affirmations to Move Forward
If you’re like me, you might have found a lot of the thoughts you wrote down were repetitive, and a lot of your answers were very similar.
Based on some of the most prevalent thoughts I was able to locate, I wrote out a few affirmations that became clear to me I needed to meditate on throughout this season of my life.
When you set affirmations for yourself, you want to make sure they are clear and direct to what you want to accomplish.
These will be the sentences or ideas for you to hold onto when you feel the self-doubt coming your way again. You could even write them on your phone or a piece of paper to keep with you for a constant reminder.
Here are mine, I’d love to see yours in the comments below!
I’m done letting self-doubt speak louder than my dreams.
I push through uncomfortable periods of growth in pursuit of the goals I have for myself and my family.
I will NOT give up on myself.
Bonus: Set Up A Self-Coaching Model
If you haven’t yet learned how to use the self-coaching model, check out my detailed guide.
Below is an example of what I used to overcome my self-doubt. I realized I applied to this job because I had a sentence in my head (a thought) that was saying that I wasn’t a good coach, but then when I looked at the Model I saw that I actually just created a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It’s crazy how all our actions are based on thoughts we are unaware of when we track it back.
Check it out:
Thought: I’m not a good coach
Feeling: Defeated
Action: Apply for a different non-coaching job
Result: I’m not a good coach because I don’t continue to improve at it!
____
So, after I took a long, hard look at my feelings of self-doubt, and realized that I was being all kinds of crazy, I kindly replied to the job. I told them I’m not interested at this time. And then, I got back to work.
Because what I learned this past week is that 2021 is the year self-doubt no longer wins.
I want all my mommas out there to know that your dreams are worth pursuing, every single day, no matter what doubt is thrown your way.
And if you need a little help, I am always here for you, welcoming all dreams of every shape and size.
Do you want to lose weight, go to school for your passion, ask for the raise you deserve, organize the house, start your own business? You name it, I’m ready to get to work if you are!
Let’s talk, and push that self-doubt out the window!
Let me know in the comments the self-doubt you have been struggling with, and the affirmations you have found that have helped you work through it.
Have you overcome self-doubt recently? What was the one thing that really helped you?
You’ve got this, my friend, don’t give up on yourself.